We've gotten into the habit of lying on Cece's floor while she drifts off to sleep at night or naptime. I'm sure some parenting expert somewhere would have something to say against this, but the earth is still spinning. She's never spent the night in our bed, which to me would be a huge inconvenience. Trey and I barely say hello some days because he's heading out the door to go to work just as I'm coming home from work, so the idea of then sharing our bed with Cece would really put a wedge between us.
Anyhow, tonight as I was lying on her floor, I was at first anxious, wanting to get up and get stuff done. My mind was flipping through it's hyper to-do list as usual and I was nervous if I laid there long enough, I'd fall asleep like I often do and wake up at midnight with an aching back. Instead, I just took a deep breath and realized just how precious that time is with Cece as she drifts off to sleep. I sneak peeks at her as her eyelids get heavy and she dazes off into the distance with her nightlight casting a shadow on her face. Her little chest takes in heavy breaths and I know sleep is near. As I lay hunched up uncomfortably on the floor, I suddenly don't notice the hard floor. For the first time in my busy day, I just sit in silence and take it all in. It seems this is the closest I'll ever come to stopping the clocks and savoring her childhood and these sacred moments of sleep.
Super Nanny might drag me off in handcuffs, but I will lay on Cece's floor listening to her sail off into sleep for as long as she keeps requesting it. Every morning brings me a toddler who always seems to have grown just a little more closer to being a child and I know one day I'll watch her graduate, walk down the aisle, etc. and in my mind I'll revisit the moments of her childhood that slipped so quickly out of my grasp.
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