Sleeping Cece

We've gotten into the habit of lying on Cece's floor while she drifts off to sleep at night or naptime.  I'm sure some parenting expert somewhere would have something to say against this, but the earth is still spinning.  She's never spent the night in our bed, which to me would be a huge inconvenience.  Trey and I barely say hello some days because he's heading out the door to go to work just as I'm coming home from work, so the idea of then sharing our bed with Cece would really put a wedge between us.
Anyhow, tonight as I was lying on her floor, I was at first anxious, wanting to get up and get stuff done.  My mind was flipping through it's hyper to-do list as usual and I was nervous if I laid there long enough, I'd fall asleep like I often do and wake up at midnight with an aching back.  Instead, I just took a deep breath and realized just how precious that time is with Cece as she drifts off to sleep.  I sneak peeks at her as her eyelids get heavy and she dazes off into the distance with her nightlight casting a shadow on her face.  Her little chest takes in heavy breaths and I know sleep is near.  As I lay hunched up uncomfortably on the floor, I suddenly don't notice the hard floor.  For the first time in my busy day, I just sit in silence and take it all in.  It seems this is the closest I'll ever come to stopping the clocks and savoring her childhood and these sacred moments of sleep. 
Super Nanny might drag me off in handcuffs, but I will lay on Cece's floor listening to her sail off into sleep for as long as she keeps requesting it.  Every morning brings me a toddler who always seems to have grown just a little more closer to being a child and I know one day I'll watch her graduate, walk down the aisle, etc. and in my mind I'll revisit the moments of her childhood that slipped so quickly out of my grasp.

Me Time? B-OH-RING.....

Oh, my sweet Cece Lou!  She's been at my husband's parents' house for a few nights and I miss that little stinker!  It's so funny how I sometimes get stressed out and wish I had some time for myself, but as soon as she's gone, I instantly miss her and don't know what to do with myself.  I always think I'll use the time wisely and get writing done or look into ways to lower our percentage rate on our credit cards or finally organize the storage space, but I almost always end up being a lazy turd on the couch. 
Having her here makes me stick to a schedule and it seems I need that now.  When she sleeps I get my down time and that forces me to work hard and diligently because I know it's a small window I'm working with.
I guess my point is, I really don't need all this "me" time I thought I did.  The truth is, I truly love running after her and feeling like I really was active all day and I fall asleep from exhaustion and not boredom.  Being a mom is more fun than it is stressful for me and I never really thought I'd think that.  I thought I was too selfish for that.  My favorite thing since college has been going to a coffee shop and writing.  When Cece is visiting her grandparents, I head straight to the coffee shop and at first I'm giddy with my latte and croissant in front of me.  It doesn't take long, however, for my brain to start reminding me how much I miss her. 
But she is gone still this morning until this afternoon, so I need to use this remaining time wisely by getting some work done, so I can give her my undivided smooches the second she walks in the door.